Does your company sell brains?

Posted on Wed 06/22/05 in My So Called Blog

I do computer-related jobs part-time as a side job. I hold accounts with a few companies who only sell to resellers (like me). One of the companies has a distro center in Tampa, FL, about one shipping day from me. The other one has a distro center in New Jersey, about three shipping days from here (plus a charge card handling fee). So, I rarely buy from the latter company. When I do, I talk with the one person I’ve talked to from the first time I called. Well, after not making a purchase for X-period of time, my account goes into to a grab bag and any sales rep in the company can contact me. So every couple of weeks or so, I get (what I consider to be) spammed with deals from every friggin’ person in the company. It’s become really irritating.

Below is the latest series of email correspondence with one of the sales reps. I the changed names of the company and persons.

The following is my first email response to one of many sales promotion emails I received one day:

June 9th, 2005

Julie,

Your are the third or fourth person to contact me from your company. I prefer to deal with Helen White when I do order something, which is not often. I would like to be put on your “Do not harass these customers” list. I am becoming extremely annoyed with the mass emails I am being sent from your entire staff. This makes me want to take my business elsewhere. Please forward this to all of your cronies.

Thank you,
Turd Ferguson
President of A-Byte

That same night, I received a phone call asking me why I haven’t made any purchases lately. I expressed my feelings verbally over the phone. I received the email below from… who? Yes, Julie… the same rep who was the recipient of my first email.

June 21, 2005

DEAR TURD FERGUSON,
My name is Julie Heedless from WeCell Scabs, Inc. How is your business? I was looking at my records, and noticed that we haven’t heard from you for more than 200 days. I was wondering if there was something wrong?

If you have changed to other distributors, I still recommend that you ask me to quote price on any item for you. I will do my best to save your money.

Please let me know what I can do to bring back your business. Have a great business day!

Best Regards,

Julie Heedless
Account Manager
WeCell Scabs, Inc.

Can you believe that? Does she not check her email? I couldn’t believe the same person wrote me again. Below is the email response I sent her back today.

June 21, 2005

Julie, I really hate to insult your intelligence, but it is utterly unbelievable that after receiving the email I sent you in response to your previous email, you’ve sent me yet another email. YOUR actions show me that you do not care about your customers’ needs. Despite my numerous requests to stop receiving emails, you and your other sloths continue to pester me. What is the problem? Do you really want me to sever my ties with your company? What if I end up the next Richard Shultz and you blew your chance at keeping me a customer because you could not demonstrate one ounce of self-control?

To be clear once again…...

I do computer work as a side job. Most of my revenue is from services I perform. When I do need parts, I often need them immediately (so I buy from a local store) or my customer chooses to purchase the parts themselves for me to install. Occasionally, MA Labs is the answer for me, but usually not. When I do need something, Helen White (who works for you) is a click away, and she answers all of my questions promptly and in a manner I appreciate.

Got it? I hope so. And, please do not call me tonight to see if I need anything. I don’t. And when I do…. I’ll ask Helen. Thanks, again.

Your friend and hero,
Turd Ferguson
President and Chief Captain of A-Byte

To be continued… NOTHING MORE As of Jan 2006