My Bachelor Party...

Posted on Mon 06/06/05 in South Florida

... was more fun than I could have ever expected.

Who attended? Me, Matt, Donnie, Geoff, Jeff (El Jefe), G, Seth, Brett, Tony Polio (Chrome), Tony Salazar, Chad (Bucko), Jerrod, Rudy, Jacques (Bluebird), Chis (Shooter)

What did we do? Typical bachelor party: Rode Scooters, rode bikes, drank, ate, went to bars and strip clubs, and slept very little.

Where did we stay? Key West Hideaways. We had two suites stacked above each other on two floors, with a circular staircase connecting the back patios of each. It was fully furnished and had a stereo system that thumped Journey and System of a Down all weekend. The place was a 20 minute walk to Duval Street (2 minute scooter ride) and a five minute walk to Bare Assets, our main hangout. It was down the street from the beach and had a small marina on-site for fishing expeditions. There was also a pool, perfect for 5am pool noodle fights.

Was Pridefest a problem? Nope. There was no evidence of it. It seemed like business as usual in Key West. I sorta wish we would have went to a drag queen show—I’m sure they are hilarious. One drag queen we walked passed was hollering at me about me being a “big guy”.

Who are the Red Dragons? The baddest bunch of scooter demons south of Canada. We ruled the streets, drawing looks of amazement and envy at every intersection.

Who got injured? Jerrod did. While attempting a manual (bike trick) off of a curb, he injured his knee while landing. I think he tore some ligaments, but he managed to make it out on Saturday night. Oh, he also scraped himself up pretty good with a plastic spaghetti spoon. Pictures to come. Otherwise, everybody survived with only exhausted bodies, minds, and wallets.

Which strip clubs did we go to? We paid $5 each to stand in Teasers for about 10 minutes before leaving. The place had really beautiful women, but it was in the heart of downtown and filled with middle-aged men. It was so packed that there was no place where we could comfortably congregate or sit down.

Bare Assets on the other hand, was perfect for our desires. It was spacious and not packed. We took over a whole corner of the floor, including the bar area. The girls looked good and were quite friendly, joking around with us and making us feel welcome (of course, we were giving them money!). During the walk home from the club, I stubmled past Elizabeth Street.

Thanks to Matt, my best man, for making this trip happen.