Quirks, Smarts and Wit

Posted on Thu 03/25/10 in Fatherhood

Ethan is now four-years-old and McKenzie is two. With increasing frequency my kids shock me with their perception of [what I consider] complex concepts and crack me up with their wit. Here’s a few recent examples:

Being of the techie type, I explain the laws of physics when they come up in our activities. I explain things like acceleration (when driving), sound waves (when listening to music), centripetal force (why things we toss on to a non-moving fan slide down the fan blades as the fan gets faster), etc. So, about six months ago I explained gravity, and Ethan seemed to grasp it. About a month ago, I randomly asked him if he could prove gravity existed. He looked at me and thought for a minute. He then carried over a large truck from his toy bin, raised it up and dropped it on the floor in front of me. That could have been the highlight of my life.

McKenzie has incredible dexterity; for months, she has held pencils and eating utensils better than I could in 5th grade. Her climbing ability and balance is incredible; everyone comments on it. At the playground, she finds the highest point, and immediately heads up, fearlessly. I love watching her color or play with her baby dolls because she sings and talks to her self in her cute little voice. She is absolutely a “shoe” girl. She tries on any pair of shoes she can find, including Beth’s new 4-inch heels. She comes around corners in different foot gear and a shit-eating grin on her face. I’m sure by elementary school, she’ll look FABULOUS!

I gave Ethan and McKenzie a cupcake the other night after dinner. When I had checked back on them 5 minutes later, Ethan was away from the table, having only eaten the icing. McKenzie had not eaten any, but was, instead, having a full conversation with her new friend, Cupcake.

Ethan finds it funny (and believe me, it is!) to pull his pants down, stick his naked butt high in the air and spank himself while taunting his sister. However, I must shun this behavior as it is absolutely socially unacceptable.

Last night, I was flipping through On-Demand to find something for the kids to watch while they were with Aunt Melanie. I suggested Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special (one of my favorites). Ethan told me he doesn’t like Charlie Brown because they talk so nasty to each other. I was impressed. Beth thinks I was scammed.

If McKenzie thinks our neighbor, Mike, is outside, she will drag her chair from her room, plant it in front of the window, and stand on it and yell for Mike until I tell her that he can’t hear her. I do the same thing when nobody is around. Shhhhhhhh.

Ethan and I have gotten seriously into sword-fighting with tennis rackets. It is extremely painful getting cracked on the knuckles by a speeding racket.

I do love that Ethan is conscious of the idea that cheating is bad. We play “memory”, the matching game, and Ethan plays by the rules, tells me “good game” if he wins (which he legitimately does sometimes) and asks for a rematch if he loses. This is an improvement over a few months ago, which ended in taunting or upending the game board. If I walk away and he gets a match, he will leave them on the board for me to see when I return. It’s actually fun to play against him. He loves playing “Paper, Rock, Scissors” to determine who goes first.

My twenty-nine-year-old sister babysat the kids last night and was worn out when Beth and I returned at 10:30. Melanie said Ethan was persistent and crafty in trying to get one more snack before bed, skip brushing his teeth, and open some games that were reserved for rewards for impeccable behavior at school. His manipulation skills are superb, and if you let your guard down for a second, he’ll walk right over you. Though I am thankful for Lindsey — our bright, fourteen-year-old babysitter — someone her age is no match for Ethan.